After Beatrix freaked out a bit about total 4 year college estimate number, Bethany and I just put together a little doc for her spelling out all the numbers: Total cost minus scholarship and fed loans, out of pocket cost, and current 529 balance, etc. Proud of having done so.

I especially like the final summary:

In other words, don’t worry too much about these big numbers. Your parents have planned well for this possibility. We would not have encouraged you to go to a school we could not afford. We want what’s best for you.

I believe it will provide some perspective.